When we repeat a habit, we are always looking for an outcome, and obviously we are more likely to repeat a behaviour followed by satisfying consequences, satisfying outcomes, than to repeat behaviours that produce unpleasant consequences. Pleasure teaches your brain that an action is worth remembering and repeating. So, we create habits to obtain outcomes that satisfy us and solve our problems.
EXAMPLE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD HABITS
Dejected Joshua Kimmich reacts to Germany’s Nations League defeat - Bavarian Football Works
WHY DO WE CREATE HABITS?
Problem: you want to become healthier and achieve a better physique.
Remember: most people will spend all day chasing quick hits of satisfaction, chasing instant dopamine, but the truly successful people are the ones who travelled the road of delayed gratification, who were willing to ignore an immediate reward in favour of a delayed one to succeed.
How did you as a human being change while growing up?
Problem: you feel really stressed.
As soon as you smoke, you obtain an instant and satisfying outcome, which helps you relieve your stress efficiently, but the problem is that if you keep smoking every day for the rest of your life, you are more likely to develop bad outcomes in the future, such as lung cancer.
GOOD HABIT: Working out.
This Philosophy Quiz Will Prove Whether You're Actually Smart Or Just Pretending - BuzzFeed
Every habit produces multiple outcomes across time. The main difference between good and bad habits lies in the moment the outcomes occur: bad habits give you immediate rewards, while good habits offer delayed rewards. The problem with bad habits is the fact that they give you an instant pleasure in the present moment, but the long-term outcomes are often unpleasant and bad. With good habits, it’s the reverse: the present outcome is unenjoyable, but the future one is good. In other words, the costs, the bad part, of your good habits is in the present moment, while the costs of your bad habits are in the future. Bad habits are usually the so called “instant gratification activities”, the ones that offer you an immediate spike of dopamine (scrolling on TikTok, unhealthy food, porn and masturbation, drugs, cigarettes…). The more immediate the pleasure, the worse a habit usually is.
HABIT DEFINITION
Solution: smoke a cigarette to relieve your tension.
Have you ever forcibly sucked someone’s dick?
BAD HABIT: Smoking
Solution (habit to implement in our lives): hit the gym or do some sort of physical activity at least 3 days per week.
Habits are behaviours that have been repeated enough times to become automatic and hard to give up. Their purpose is to solve problems and stresses you face regularly with as little effort and energy as possible.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
The problem is that working out one day, one week or one month is not going to be enough to achieve your ultimate desired outcome, that is your dream physique. You must make working out part of your lifestyle and be willing to put in the work and suffer during a lot of workout sessions before you can notice significant results. So, the immediate outcome sucks, but the long-term reward is really satisfying.
